THE PROBLEM WITH AUGIE


The problem with Augie
Is not lack of smarts,
Nor even repulsive,
Continuous farts.

It isn’t his mass,
Though he must weigh a ton.
It isn’t the pitiful
Whine of this one.

It isn’t the slippery,
Slobbery slop
That slings from his snout,
And then I have to mop.

It’s not all the grunting,
The snorts and the snores.
It’s not stinky messes
He leaves on my floors.

It’s not that his ears
Must be cleaned every day;
That gooey wax buildup
I must wipe away.

Nor is it the gunk
In the folds of his face,
Nor the hair and snot left
On my own pillowcase.

Augie’s a bulldog
I watched for a time.
The problem with Augie
Is he is not mine.

Marie Elena

R.I.P., Augie. 😦

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